Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Funeral arrangements

http://www.westoaksfuneralhome.com/tribute/details/422/Molly_Paige_Blanchard/obituary.html#tribute-start

Plans for Molly have been made. Visitation Wednesday night, 6-8 at West Oaks Funeral Home in Sulphur Springs. Graveside service at Elm Cemetery in Rains County at 9:00 am Thursday morning. Sulphur Springs Floral will be doing flowers.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

My little peanut

For anyone reading this that doesn't get my Facebook posts, my sweet baby girl passed away in my arms today around 4:00. She no longer fights and is resting peacefully with her aunt Paige.

Sat. July 26, 2014

Tim and I spent the night in the hospital. The attending called us at about 10:30 last night. Molly's blood pressures were very low and she said she wasn't sure Molly would make it through the night. She did though. But she is very weak. The day doc said it could go either way at this point. They are having a very hard time finding pulses. This makes it almost impossible for the pulse ox to pick up her sats and for the cuff to get a bp reading. The doc wants to keep her comfortable. Tim's parents, my mom, and Nicole are all on their way to the hospital. Please pray for Molly and all of us.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Quick update because I am spent. Houston said no. Boston's final answer was no. They do not think she would survive a transplant.

We got summoned to Molly's room at 7:30 this morning. Her blood pressure is very low. She is now on 3 BP meds and is maxed out on those.

No pee yet.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Boston, Houston, Dallas, oh my

So, I know I promised a blog update before today. I'm sure you guys will understand. Lots has happened in the world of Molly. Sometimes that's why I wait to blog because things can change in the blink of an eye....as I've always said. We finally got word from Boston last week that they did not think Molly needed new intestines and they said they wouldn't give her new lungs. I'm not sure if it's because they didn't think she needed them or because they didn't think she was a candidate for some other reason. But, they did say they would evaluate her for a new liver. However, Dallas Children's offers liver transplants. So, we had to exhaust that option first. So, GI doctors and the transplant surgeon evaluated Molly and decided she wasn't a candidate for a new liver. We never talked directly to the team because quite frankly we didn't care to know. We know they said no and that's all we needed to hear. I didn't want to hear how bad her lungs are or that she might not survive surgery. We are already aware of these 2 things. It's hard to hear day in and day out how sick your daughter is. So, we just choose not to talk to many of the doctors any more. And when it is necessary for us to, Tim does the talking and listening. I can't take it any more. 

Back to Molly. After Dallas said no to transplant, we put it back in Boston's court. They were going to present it to Medicaid to see if we could get the transfer. We had an accepting physician in Boston and it was up to Medicaid. We were told we would know something within 48 hours, which would have been this past Tuesday. Now, the twist. Boston called the attending physician in Dallas Friday evening. They said that Boston is not listed as a provider for Texas medicaid and we had to exhaust all options in Texas first. Why they didn't tell us this 7 weeks ago when we started this whole Boston thing is unknown. They gave us a run around for 7 weeks, in the meantime Molly's kidneys failed and onto dialysis she went. To say I'm pissed off is an understatement. All we can do is press on, like our baby girl does. Exhausting all options in Texas first means now we have to try Texas Children's in Houston as they do liver transplants as well. They now have all of the records they need. But the doctor that has to review her files is on vacation this week. Of course!  We hope to find something out the beginning of next week. And we will go from there.

Meanwhile, Molly remains on dialysis. Tomorrow puts her at 2 weeks on it. They have been able to pull off a whole lot of fluid. She looks so different! Not puffy at all and her tummy looks so much better. Her lungs haven't had to work so hard now and her vent settings have been able to be weaned. Finally. Of course she remains on TPN and omegaven. Her color is normal! At last check her direct bili was 13.4. But don't get too excited. The dialysis pulls off some of that bilirubin too. It's good to see that low number though. It's still far from normal (< 1.0), but it's so much better. 

According to the nephrologist (kidney doc), she has to pee on her own to come off dialysis. She hasn't peed in quite some time. He does say that she will start peeing and her kidneys will start working again. It just takes time and patience. Meanwhile she doesn't like to be touched really. I think that new catheter in her neck hurts and is uncomfortable.  This makes it hard for me and Tim because we can't really touch her much less hold her, which is really hard for us. We go from holding her and putting her in her bouncy seat to not being able to touch her. But Molly trucks on and so do we.

We need prayers for Molly to pee pee. And for Houston to say yes to evaluating Molly. Texas Children's hospital is ranked #4 in the country for pediatric hospitals. If we can get her there, I know only good can come out of it.

Thank you for continued thoughts and prayers.  

Friday, July 18, 2014

Boston

Just a real quick update. Promise to go more in depth tomorrow. We are currently waiting on medicaid to decide whether or not Molly can go up to Boston for a liver transplant evaluation. We hope to know something by Tuesday. They did accept her as a patient, it's all up to medicaid at this point. If they don't accept it, not sure what we will do. Dallas will not list Molly for a liver transplant.

More tomorrow....but Molly is good!

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

GI bleed

So, Molly has a GI bleed. Nurse Heather said she had about 50cc of blood in her diaper this morning. They consulted GI to see if they want to do a study on her gut (what an idea...I've pushed for this for months now). Until then they started her on a med to slow blood flow to her gut.

She has been requiring more oxygen. At times it has been as high as 100%. Still pulling fluid off with dialysis. Dopamine is off. Norepi is close to being off, so her blood pressure is staying good. 

Prayers now for the GI bleed to get better and for her oxygen needs to go down. She had a better blood gas this morning, her CO2 was 78. Prayers answered in that department! Please keep them coming. 

Amy

Monday, July 14, 2014

July 14, 2014

Just wanted to give a quick update. I'll try to at least give short updates as much as I can. Molly is still on dialysis. They are able to finally pull fluid off of her. Her blood pressure is tolerating it. Dopamine has been weaned to 4 mc/hr. She is still on norepinephrine. I think they want to wean dopamine completely off before the norepi. 

Her blood gases have been terrible yesterday and today. Her CO2 is 90. We want that to be less than 60. They are not making any vent changes because her settings are already pretty high. Any higher and her lungs could pop basically. So, we just wait and see if she corrects it on her own. I'm hoping pulling more fluid off will help with this also. They will be checking her heart and eyes for fungal functions. They are doing blood, urine, and trach cultures and started her on vancomycin today, but keeping a close eye on her levels. She is still on an anti-fungal.

She is making urine on her own and pooped twice, which is amazing. 

We need prayers for Molly. Please pray that her blood gases get better. That's probably the most worrisome thing right now.  I'll try to update if anything else pops up.

As always, thank you for reading and praying. Thank you to all who supported us on Saturday and to everyone who donated their time and made donations. Thank you to Nicole for helping organize everything. I love you sistah souljah.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Dialysis

Molly's liver is not supplying adequate blood flow to her kidneys. That is the reason for her kidney failure. As I type, they are doing an ultrasound on her jugular veins to see where we can put an intrajugular vein for the dialysis. The one we used last time cannot be used again. She had a broviac in her right one which they are checking now to see if it is occluded or not. There are two other possible sites in her femoral veins. The problem with those spots is that her belly is so distended it may affect the ability of the blood flow to and from the heart. Her nurse Heather today said Molly's little body is just getting tired. That breaks my heart.

Basically it boils down to dialysis working or not. It may not work and if it doesn't work, we may have no other options left. Please say some prayers for the three of us.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Another day in the PICU

Tim called this morning to check on Molly around 8:30. The nurse said she was doing okay....but....she hadn't peed since 2am. That is not good. You may recall this happened about 5 weeks ago and Molly had to go on dialysis. As of right now, she has a foley in and some urine did come out. They are doing cultures. Her CRP is up about a point. Her BUN went up from 50 this morning to 62 this afternoon. This is a measure of how well your kidneys are functioning, or how "happy" they are. We would like it to be less than 25.  So, 62 is not good. They are going to do an ultrasound of her kidneys, give her some albumin chased with lasix in hopes that pulls some of the fluid off. That extra fluid that is not being peed off is collecting in her tissues, but mainly goes to her belly. It is way more distended, so taut that it is shiny. This makes for an uncomfortable Molly. She has been more lethargic the last couple of days too. Sleeping most of the day, even more so than usual. So, that is where we are at right now. They consulted nephrolology (kidney docs), so we will see what the plan is.

On a better note, her bili was checked on Monday and is down about 3 points. It sits at 15.2. Yay omegaven! Her skin tone is so much better. A little pinker, still a little yellow though.

We need prayers for Molly's kidneys....that they get happier and produce pee pee. Thank you!

No word from Boston yet.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

July 2, 2014

I know I haven't been keeping everyone up to date on Boston. I'll get to that soon. First off I'll talk about Molly! She has had 3 really good weeks. She is now 9 months old actual, 6 months adjusted due to her being born 3 months early. We have been sitting her up and her head control is actually pretty good. She can turn her head when she sits up. Physical and occupational therapy are supposed to start coming by 4 times a week....I think. She needs it. We have been keeping her from just lying in her bed all day. We put her in her bouncy seat and in her boppy pillow and hold her.  And next up is a bumbo seat! Both grandmothers have been able to hold her and today Aunt Nicole will get to hold her! This is very exciting...both Molly and auntie are very excited.

Boston.....we had her entire medical record sent to the Boston docs. It took about 24 hours for her medical records to be downloaded and put on CD due to the fact that her record was 5,000 pages long. So, Boston got the records and a couple of days later decided they wanted paper copies of only specific things. Those were resent yesterday. Now, we wait. We have not been given a timeframe as to when we might know something one way or another. It sucks having to wait, but we are used to that. Now we pray for no infections until then. Although we did have a positive respiratory culture taken 2 days ago. Thank the good Lord no blood infection though. She is currently on 2 antibiotics until the respiratory culture is identified.

She is still getting omegaven. At last check (Monday) her direct bili was 18.9. It's not going down like I hoped it would. But we also had about a 3-week setback with that last round of sepsis and dialysis. Her liver labs are only done every Monday now. Her color is so much better though. She no longer looks orange and is now just a slight shade of yellow. Yesterday marks 8 weeks on omegaven so far. Please pray that she stays infection free and that the Omegaven helps her liver!

Thank you to everyone who has signed up for Molly's walk. We have only gotten about 6 forms so far. Please send in your forms so you are guaranteed a shirt in your size. We have now added 2XL to sizes due to repeated requests.

Thank you to everyone! Thanks especially to Nicole for working so hard to make this run a success. Thanks to mom and Pat for helping to get the word out and getting sponsors.

Friday, June 20, 2014

June 20, 2014

 Sorry for the lack of updates, it’s been a crazy past couple of weeks.  The past 2 days have been the best we have had in such a long time. As of yesterday Molly is off the nitric oxide and the nimbex (paralytic). Pain management came in and suggested a new med. So, they are currently weaning her fentanyl and versed with the help of ketamine. So, for two 3-hour intervals throughout the day, her fentanyl or versed is turned off and she gets a ketamine drip. This has made such a huge difference for Molly.  I think she just got so used to the fentanyl and versed and built up a tolerance.  They were no longer helping to control her pain or keep her calm. She has been awake and alert much more. But the most important part is that she is no longer crying and upset when she is awake. Before the ketamine, they would have to give her a bolus (one time strong dose) of fentanyl or versed to keep her calm. She would fight the vent and her sats would drop.  Now, she is awake, interacting with us, and we have seen more smiles in the past 2 days than I can count!  We are in a much different (and better!) place than  we were at just last week. We put her in her bouncy seat and have started to hold her again.  Yesterday we held her (we took turns) for almost 5 hours!  She slept nearly the whole time. She loved being cuddled. We loved it too. The attending doctor and one of the fellows and a couple of nurses came to her room just to see us holding her.  Some of them only know Molly as a baby lying in a bed not being held. I think that most of them never expected her to get better. Tim and I of course knew she would. Molly loves to prove the doctors wrong, and she is showing off now!

Now, onto more medical specifics. Molly still remains NPO (no feeds). This is actually per our request.  Every time they try to feed her, she gets sick. This is why we have been in the hospital for the past 6 weeks.  It’s the same thing over and over.  They feed her, her belly get distended which pushes up on her lungs. Then it’s harder for her to breathe and she requires more pressure from the vent. The increased vent settings will actually start to cause more lung injury. We have been told that if an adult were on a ventilator, that person would require pressure support of 15.  Molly’s pressure support is 30. This is so important because such high pressures can cause a pneumothorax. The doctor said that we are walking a fine line right now. He also said that if a pneumothorax were to occur, then that was pretty much it. So when a GI doctor comes in to talk to us (as was the case about a week ago) and says they want to try to feed her again, we said no, absolutely not. I have asked repeatedly for them to run tests to see what is wrong with her gut. But, they say there are no tests that they can do. Instead, to test her gut they want to feed her. I just do not understand. So, she is still receiving her nutrition from TPN.

Now.....omegaven.  She has been on it for 6 weeks now. Her bilirubin had actually gone down to around 12. I just knew the omegaven was the reason, I was sure of it. This was right after she was on dialysis which removed all of the toxins from your blood. Bilirubin was one of those toxins. So, about a week after dialysis her bili began to rise again. As of yesterday her bili level was 21.3. It is very disheartening to see it rise that high again. But, it is not as high as it was just a couple of weeks ago which was 30. I have read stories of other omegaven kids that once the CRP (C-reactive protein which is produced by the liver and is a marker for inflammation) is less than 1.0 that the bili level really begins to drop. Molly’s CRP is around 3.  I also read that for older babies it can take longer for the bili to begin dropping. I still have faith in omegaven!  I just have to be patient!

We are still waiting to hear if Boston will accept Molly as a patient.  It’s a lengthy process. The paperwork Boston needs was sent on Wednesday. Our ICU attending spoke with Boston’s ICU attending doctor. Our GI doctor spoke with Boston’s GI doctor. Our pulmonologist spoke with Boston’s pulmonologist. The state of Molly’s lungs may pose a problem for transport though. We just have to wait and see.  The Boston team of doctors are supposed to get together today and discuss. Then on Monday they have some sort of case conference where they, along with even more doctors, will discuss Molly’s case as well.  We should know something by next Wednesday at the latest.

Finally, we are planning a fundraiser for Molly. It’s a 5k walk/run on Saturday, July 12, at Buford Park in Sulphur Springs.  It’s called Miles for Mighty Molly. We are still finalizing the plans but I will post about it, along with a flyer, when everything is worked out.  A special thank you to Molly’s favorite auntie, Nicole. She is helping to get this thing going.  We couldn’t do it without her!  Me love you long time sister.

Pictures....a family picture; molly with her favorite nurse Heather; sporting her hello kitty dress; and with her daddy.





Saturday, June 7, 2014

06.07.14

I just want to put a request out there to anyone reading this to please pray for Molly's lungs. Out of everything she's been through, we are back to the state of her lungs. She's been having episodes of pulmonary hypertension whenever she's awake. They have to sedate her, sometimes paralyze her, and bag her. According to the palliative care team (which we decided to bring in for our own help not end of life care), the main thing keeping her in the ICU is her lungs. Her vent settings are very high and these episodes of pulmonary hypertension are not good. Please just pray for Molly and her lungs to get better, and for her comfort.
Thank you, Amy

P.S. her direct bili is down to 14.9. She is no longer orange/yellow.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Finally....a Molly update (via auntie Nicole)

It's been awhile since Amy updated the blog, so while I am here with Molly I am going to do it (this is Amy's sister here giving an update).  Thursday night, Tim got a call at 2:30 am saying that they needed to get over to the hospital that Molly's potassium level was critically high, her heart rate was low and her CO2 was high.  She's always critical, but with her potassium being so high she could have gone into cardiac arrest.  Then her kidneys started to fail, wasn't producing urine and she is in acute kidney failure.  She has been on diuretics to pee and get fluid off of her, but they weren't working.  Her belly swelled up, alot, and was pushing on her lungs.  Initially they thought she had what's called abdominal compartment syndrome.  I've heard of this in legs and things like this, but personally have never heard of this in the abdomen.  So something was swelling, still don't know what, pressure builds up and presses on everything else.  Likely, this was impeding the function of the kidneys which caused the acute kidney failure.  Treatment of this is to open her belly and relieve the pressure.  So the attending physician wanted to do this surgery, she had the mindset that this is what would do Molly in for lack of better words.  She felt she might make it through the surgery, but would surely get some sort of infection that would kill her.  So she gives the option at this point, do  Amy and Tim want to go ahead with surgery or do they want to just make "Molly comfortable".  We know what they meant by this, however, they never say it outright and never give a prognosis.  So the surgeon comes to evaluate her and doesn't believe the pressure was high enough to warrant surgery.  It's always two sided here and none of the physicians are on the same page and certainly seem to not communicate with each other.  So the next option, put Molly on dialysis which pretty much does the functioning for the kidneys. 

DIALYSIS: a process for removing waste and excess water from the blood, and is used primarily as an artificial replacement for lost kidney function in people with renal failure.  When healthy, the kidneys maintain the body's internal equilibrium of water and minerals (sodium, potassium, chloride, calcium, phosphorus, magnesium, sulfate).


So here we go with the dialysis.  She would need what's called a portacath placed into a main vein which hooks up to the dialysis machine.  She only has two options of where this can be placed because all her other main veins are currently being used.  So two options, her femoral vein or her jugular vein.  Possible complications of both:  femoral vein is a long vein that goes into the kidneys, however, since it is long then it may not make it all the way to the kidneys to dialyse.  Plus, with all the swelling and the edema, there was potential for that portacath being "squished" and not functioning as it should.  Onto the jugular vein.  You have two, one on each side of your neck.  The right one has been used previously for her broviac, but is the better option.  Ultrasound showed that it was occluded and so could not be used.  So we are onto the left jugular.  It is open, and usable, but possible complication.  It doesn't work, closes up, and the blood backs up into the brain.  This means possible stroke. 

After Tim and Amy discuss this and I chime in, we talk to the surgeon who says jugular is better choice but they can wait and come up with a decisive choice.  Then he speaks with the attending and says this is critical and she needs this procedure.  So, the decision is made to place the catheter into the jugular vein.  The surgeon talks about complications and all that and gets the consent from Amy.  He's all encouraging and tells the risks of the procedure, but is cordial about everything.  Then the anesthesiologist comes and needs parents consent.  At this point, the room is ready for the procedure, Amy and Tim were talking to Molly and giving her kisses (I was able to give her smooches on her lips before I left the room, first time for that).  So this anesthesiologist is going over risk and possible complications and then tells Amy and Tim that she is aware that Molly will not survive this surgery.  She didn't say it was a possible risk. She said SHE WILL NOT MAKE IT THROUGH THIS PROCEDURE. Well this was a shock as no one had mentioned the fact that they didn't expect her to survive the procedure.  This threw Tim and Amy (mostly Amy) into a tailspin.  I was watching from a far at this point.  Voices were raised at this point and Tim and Amy were furious.  They come over to me, I ask that the surgeon come over.  He just happened to walk by at this point.  He says hmm, well I wasn't aware of this, with a very puzzled look on his face.  As I said previously, these doctors DO NOT speak to each other and so you hear something from one and then hear something completely different from another.  Anesthesiologist comes over and I ask where she got this information from about Molly not making it....she says the NURSING staff.  What the?  You didn't speak with the attending physician about this?  Amy was pissed.  She was almost up in the anesthesiologist's face at one point saying something like she wanted to punch her in the face or something.  It's all sort of a blur because we were all pissed at this point....even Tim and he even made me afraid lol. 

So we go out to the waiting room.  We do not know what to expect.  After an hour, the Surgery Fellow said she made it through fine and they were cleaning everything up.  Phew....relief.  Finally the surgeon comes out and says everything went fine.  So....she did okay over night, they were able to stop her diuretics and is off her dopamine and norepinephrine.  All good things.  She is peeing now, her labs look pretty good.  Kidney doctor says likely another 24 hours and then take her off the dialysis and see if her kidneys function on her own.  This is where we are at at this point.  I asked about a liver transplant, when would she actually be able to get on this list.  But all you can get out of these people is "today she is not able to get on the list".  Okay, but what would be the criteria for her to get on the list?  Nope, never a straight answer. 

At this point, no one knows what caused the kidney failure or the acute swelling.  I had initally planned on coming up here today to see Molly in action.  She had been moving and was awake and off the paralytic.  At least she is not paralyzed, just super doped up.  I was able to see eyes open a little and she cries when she needs her methodone, which is so sad to see.  She's such a sweet little girl. 

So right now it's day to day, almost every 4 hours by every 4 hours, because that's when the next set of labs are drawn.  The short term goal right now is to get her off the dialysis machine and get her kidneys functioning.  Then after that, not sure.  They need to see what's up with her intestines because it may have all stemmed from this. 

Right now, she is still here with us, not in pain, and doing okay.

Friday, May 23, 2014

Day 238

We have spent 238 days in the hospital. Hard to believe. But, I think we have finally found our miracle drug....omegaven. This has been such a great week. I got to hold my peanut for 1.5 hours on Tuesday. It has been at least 6 weeks since I had held my daughter. Way too long. She has been tolerating her pedialyte like a superstar. She has been pooping. And yesterday her eyes were as wide as they have been in awhile. She was staring at her block hanging over her head. I grabbed it and moved it from side to side and up then down and she tracked it the whole way. This may not seem big to anyone reading this. But we had another head ultrasound last week and it showed progressive atrophy of her brain. So, this is huge. Also, Tim and I have been suctioning Molly's trach and doing trach care. We have a checklist of things (these 2 included) that we have to perform before we take trach class #2 which is trach change. I am scared. But I was scared of trach care and it no longer seems scary and that is after only 2 times.

One last piece of news and a huge piece is that Molly's direct bilirubin has gone down 4 points in the last 2 days. 4 points!!! I think we are finally over the spike in levels we expected to see at the beginning of omegaven. I think it's all downhill from here. I am hopeful!  And hopeful feels good. 

Pictures include Molly's kitty slippers from cousin Alani, Molly block watching, Mommy and Molly, Molly's beads of courage, and Molly blowing the biggest mucus bubble I have ever seen. Enjoy!

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Omegaven - week 2

I apologize immensely for not blogging before now.  Sometimes, I just don't feel up to it.  I will try my best to do it daily or every other day.  Because now, there is so much to catch up on. I will start with her labs.

Omegaven was started on 5.6.14 and I believe I posted those results.  Most of her liver function labs are Mondays and Thursdays now. Anyway, here are her labs from

5.15.14:

ALT - 129
AST - 204
Alkaline Phosphotase - 319
Total Bili - 36
Direct Bili - 25.70
Albumin (5.12.14) - 3
INR - 1.3
CRP - 2.49
Platelets - 61

Labs from 05.19.14:

ALT - 236
AST - 369
Alkaline Phosphotase - 298
Total Bili - 41.4
Direct Bili - 29.40
Albumin (5.12.14) - 3.1
INR - 1.4
CRP - 3.02
Platelets - 95

Her bilirubin levels are as high as I have ever remembered them being. Everything I have read about Omegaven (I have read about everything there is out there), her bili levels will rise before they drop. It usually is not this fast though. So, we can only have faith in Omegaven and hope those levels go down. Some good liver news is that her INR is still in the good range, her Albumin level has increased and her Platelets just keep rising and rising.  These numbers are very good.  And, Molly's GI doctor (the omegaven doctor) says that based on these numbers, her liver is holding stable.  They are concerned about her bilirubin levels, but they are kind of stable.  We just have to pray and hope that the Omegaven does like it has proven to do, and that is to start seeing a drop in those numbers.  Her CRP is up, (2.49 to 3.02), (up is not good). But, she had infections in both PICC lines. 

Onto the infections. On Saturday, she spiked a temp. So, they started her on 2 broad spectrum antibiotics (vancomycin and zosyn) and did cultures. Today they were able to identify the infection. It was staph. It thankfully did not get into her blood stream. In fact, the cultures they drew the day after they started antibiotics are negative.  So, it appears as though the infection was caught in time and they have now started her on an antibiotic specifically for staph infection.

She has been started on pedialyte.  A very small amount, just to wake up her gut. She has tolerated it beautifully so far and has even pooped!  Yay for poop!  I almost took a picture of it.  Gross, but when your daughter had her intestines hanging out of stomach for 3 months and pooped in a bag, this is great news!

The nimbex (paralytic) is being weaned daily. She is now starting to open her eyes and stay awake for more and more each day. She wiggles her hands and feet, too.

Here's the overall plan:  Continue to wean the nimbex. When that is gone, start to wean the nitric oxide (as long as her echo is okay). That will probably occur over the span of a week. After that will come weaning the narcotics. She is currently on drips of fentanyl and versed. She is on scheduled doses of methadone and valium. Eventually, the methadone and valium will be increased until maximum doses are reached, then the fentanyl and versed will be weaned until she is off of them.  Intermittently, the vent will be weaned and the pedialyte will be increased until she is on the full amount. After that, we will switch from pedialyte to neocate
(formula). So we have a LONG road ahead of us, but we will certainly get there. Just have to have patience and pray and enjoy each and every day with our cute little peanut!

Please don't ever leave Molly out of your prayers. Even though she may be stable, we still need prayers to keep her that way.

Thank you to everyone reading this!

Amy

Sunday, May 11, 2014

My first mother's day

I am sitting by Molly's bed right now. She is the sweetest little girl that ever lived. I am truly the lucky one having her as my daughter. She has taught me so much. Patience. Unconditional love. Faith. Strength. She is the bravest, strongest, most stubborn little peanut I have ever had the privilege of knowing, much less be the mother of. We have had one of the toughest months we have had to date. But, the past several days have been uneventful. Uneventful is good. She has been stable and holding steady. We couldn't ask for much more than that right now. I love my peanut so much.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Omegaven day 1

Sorry for the lack of updates recently. It has been a rough month. Molly has been fighting her infections and recovering from them. Currently she is being weaned off the paralytic, on fentanyl, versed, methadone, and valium, and on 20 ppm of nitric oxide. She was supposed to have started the omegaven last Friday, but of course we hit a snag. This drug has been the hardest thing to get. And that is so sad. So many babies can benefit from it and yet the parents (not the doctors) have to fight for their baby to get it to save their baby's life. I need to give props to my sister Nicole for writing a letter to the head honcho of the hospital. Without that letter, we would be waiting another 2 weeks of valuable time to start the omegaven.

Molly is stable at this time. We were given a grim prognosis yesterday. Her lungs are getting worse because of the pressure from her belly which is full of fluid, or ascites. Her heart is working overtime to compensate for the pressure in her portal vein. In my opinion, the cause of all of her problems is the liver. Omegaven has to work. We have no other options. We need as many prayers as we can get that omegaven is the answer we have been looking for. It is not a miracle pill in that it doesn't work overnight. It will be at least a month before we start seeing any improvement. In fact, her numbers will get worse before they get better. We also need prayers that she stays infection-free. I don't know if her little body can handle another infection. I don't want to find out either.

Please pray for the omegaven to work and that she stays infection-free. These things have to happen so that one day we can take our peanut home.

I know that probably nobody knows what these numbers mean, but I am putting them here for reference. They are Molly's pre-omegaven numbers.

Total bili: 23.0
Direct bili: 15.7 (normal is <2.0)
Liver enzymes:
      ALT - 146 (normal is around 50)
      AST - 138 (normal is around 50)
      Alkaline phosphotase: 163 (currently     in normal range)
Albumin  - 3.9
Platelets - 29,000 (very very low - normal is > 150,000)

These are just some of the numbers we will continue to monitor on the omegaven. The most important one that we will watch is that direct bili. It's a good indicator of her liver function.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

7 months old today

Our little peanut is 7 months old today. She decided to scare the crap out of her parents (again) for her birthday. We got to the hospital this morning and the respiratory tech was bagging Molly. The problem she seemed to be having was bronchospasms, sort of like an asthma attack but different. Ha. They ended up bagging her for 3 hours and tried almost every mode they could on the vent. For a moment I thought they were going to bring out the oscillator, but they didn't. So, now she is on continuous albuterol and they had to paralyze her with a stronger paralytic (vec which is rough on her liver). Earlier, she wasn't moving any air at all in her lungs, now she is. I was scared. 

Anyway, onto other things. We should know if Dr. O was able to get funding for the omegaven tomorrow. Supposedly. Her liver pretty much is staying stable. Her belly girth is up to 55cm. She is peeing good though!

Some prayer requests: please pray that Molly can get the omegaven here in Dallas. I don't know if she can handle a transport to Houston right now. Please pray that her belly size goes down. Please pray that her gut gets better as there are currently no bowel sounds.

Thank you everyone.

The picture Is from a "paralytic holiday" she had on Saturday. She lasted 2 hours! It did us good to see her move and open her beautiful eyes.

Friday, April 25, 2014

Omegaven saga continues

I first would like to thank everyone who has followed along and given anything they can to help us out. Everything is appreciated so much.

Molly is holding steady. Her girth is still at 54 cm. Her weight is up but it seems like the fluid is slowly coming off. Her ammonia is staying around 45-70, which is awesome. Her bili is staying about the same, which is a lot lower than it had been. Because of this, she is less yellow and jaundiced.

I spoke with the attending, Dr. Luckett, yesterday about the omegaven. I'll try to keep this as short as I can. There is a doctor, let's call her Dr. O. I do not know what her real name is. Dr. O is a GI doctor who would be the one giving the omegaven. Dr. O is here at Dallas children's. She has about 2 months worth of omegaven here at our hospital. Apparently there is a lot of red tape to get more omegaven, but the big obstacle is funding. Because this med is considered experimental, we cannot be billed for it. This means that the hospital has to foot the bill. Which means they have to find funding for it. Another aspect is that 3 of the top 5 children's hospitals in the US are using omegaven, but Dallas is not. If we were to transfer to one of those top 3 (Houston), it wouldn't look very good for Dallas. It would look like they aren't as good as their competitors. This is good for us because it means they want to get it for us here. But then there is that funding issue. I asked Dr. Luckett if we can start a fund for it. He said he was going to ask Dr. O about that and it has been done in the past. I also told him we were thinking of going to the news to tell them about it. He said, I like the way you think. It's hard for us to fathom that there is a drug out there that can potentially save our daughter's life and we cannot get it because of a hospital funding issue.

Here is a link to a news story done about omegaven awhile back. I urge you all to take the time to read this. Thank you!

http://rockcenter.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/06/07/18833434-drug-treatment-omegaven-that-could-save-infants-lives-not-yet-approved-by-fda?lite

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

04/23/14

Molly is holding steady. She is off the epinephrine, still paralyzed though. She has so much fluid on her - about 4 pounds worth. It may not sound like a lot for you and me, but for a baby, it's a lot. What happens with Molly is that when she has this fluid overload, it disperses everywhere. This includes her lungs, her belly size, even the lining of her intestines. So, they have her on a lasix drip to help her pee it off. Because her belly is so distended (her girth should be about 45cm and is currently 54cm) and her lungs are wet, her respiratory status has gotten worse. They have had to increase the support she needs. Oh yeah, she is on nitric oxide as well at 20ppm. This is used to treat pulmonary hypertension (PH). In order to wean her off the nitric, they have started her on a new med to treat the PH. This med is sildenefil, also known as viagra. So, hopefully they can start to wean the nitric soon.

Now, onto the big topic of omegaven. I have all the wheels in motion for the transfer to Houston, except for one. On Monday, we got a new attending physician. He is not quite on board with transferring her. He wants to learn more about omegaven, which I understand. But time is of the essence. I learned earlier that the new attending GI doctor is in talks with the short gut head honcho doctor. He wants to get omegaven here. So, we will see what transpires this afternoon hopefully. I am still doing what I can to get her to Houston in the mean time.

Nicole was able to come stay from Saturday until yesterday (Tuesday). That was great and much needed on my part. Mom and Tim's parents came by as well this past weekend. I know they all miss seeing Molly.

I guess that is all I have for now.  Now, a few pictures...

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Easter weekend

On this Easter weekend, we ask that you pray extra hard for our little peanut. We are having another episode just like last weekend. She is paralyzed again and on epinephrine. Her belly is sick again we think. The doctor asked us if we wanted to continue care. No parents should be asked that question.

Please pray that Molly fights hard, stays strong, and that the Lord heal her and let us keep her here with us.

Thank you

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

04/16/14

So.....this weekend we realized how fragile our little peanut is. She had a very rough weekend. This is what happened....she got her trach. Apparently there was bacteria in the ET tube. The trach surgery kind of shook that up. Her liver is not functioning right and one of the jobs of the liver is to filter out toxins and bacteria. Her liver couldn't filter out the bacteria and she became septic. She ended up on 2 "big gun antibiotics", fentanyl drip, a paralytic, dopamine, and epinephrine. As of today, her tracheal aspirate is no longer growing anything, so infection is under control. She is off the paralytic as of this morning. They are weaning the bp meds. As of this afternoon, she is off dopamine. She is on the evil TPN. But, it supposedly does not contain all of the toxic substances that initially hurt her liver. They hope to slowly reintroduce feeds tomorrow.

Now, onto our next plan. Her liver is terrible. I have been researching a little drug called omegaven. It is an intravenous omega-3 fish oil. Dr. Puder at Boston Children's Hospital, along with a pharmacist there, have been giving sick kids like Molly omegaven for years. It is not fda-approved so you cannot get it everywhere. I actually talked to Dr. Puder on the phone Sunday. He says she is a candidate for omegaven. He said the doctors at dallas children's can get it for Molly but they usually just don't want to pay for it. He said we can either go to Boston or Texas Children's as they give it too. Of course, Boston is the top notch of childrens hospitals. Anyway, one of Molly's pedi G.I. doctors is trying to get it for Molly. We'll see how that goes and go from there. By the way, omegaven reverses the liver damage caused by the TPN. Even kids with cirrhosis were successfully treated.

Now onto plan #2. Molly may have to get a liver transplant some time in the future. They said she would not be on the top of the list, which is good in a way. It means she doesn't need it right away.

So, that is where we are right now. Of course as always we need so many prayers. Prayers that she fights this infection, that we are able to get omegaven, that her liver starts to heal itself.

Pictures are from Molly being paralyzed (the one with the bow), and Molly's first Easter basket.

P.S. Molly had her first trach change today. Tim and I have our first trach class on Friday. We get to start learning all about her trach.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Day 197

So, Molly has pneumonia. Her oxygen needs have been increasing. They even had to bag her today to get her sats back up. I couldn't watch that, had to leave the room. They did a tracheal aspirate culture just this morning. Preliminary results came back this afternoon. When the results come back that fast, you know some infection is definitely brewing. The culture showed "many gram negative rods." So, zosyn (antibiotic) was started. Hopefully they caught it soon enough.

Molly has actually been infection free for a couple of months. Too bad we couldn't keep that streak going. Please pray that the antibiotics kick in fast. If she gets too agitated and squirmy, they are going to have to paralyze her.

Friday, April 11, 2014

04/11/14

Molly got her trach yesterday. The surgery itself only took about 45 minutes. The surgeon also did a bronchoscopy to take a look at her airway. Kids who have been intubated a long time can have scarring, narrowing, all kinds of stuff. Other than a little swelling from the ET tube, Molly's airway looked great. This is good news when it comes time to decannulate (have the trach removed). Post-op, she is doing pretty good. The vent settings are up, which is expected. She is on a fentanyl drip for pain and sedation. She is also on very minimal stimulation. The idea is to keep her as still and comfortable as possible for the first few days. The stoma needs about 5 days to allow the tract to form. After 5-7 days the ENT surgeon will do the first trach change. After that, Tim and I start to learn how to do trach cares and changes. We are actually scheduled for our first trach class next Friday at 11:00am. They encourage us to dive right in which is what we intend to do!

Pictures are right before surgery and after.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

04/09/14

I'm going to keep this post short. Molly is scheduled for surgery for her tracheostomy at 8:45am tomorrow. We are both ready and scared. Molly's life and our lives are going to change drastically.

Tim wanted me to be sure to write about Molly's developmental progress. Per the therapist, Molly is doing the things a 3-month old baby should be doing. One thing Tim specifically loves is that Molly swats at the block mobile that hangs over her. It is the cutest thing. She is making so much progress.

I ask anyone reading this to please pray for Molly. Please pray that her surgery goes smooth and is successful. Please pray that Molly is not in any pain. Thank you!

And now....pictures!

Friday, April 4, 2014

04/04/14

It's been a busy past week in the world of Molly. This post will be piecemeal because there is a lot to cover.

Liver: The official results from the liver biopsy are in. Nothing changed from the preliminary results. Damage to liver is TPN-induced cholestasis, no cirrhosis, damage is reversible. They give her 2 medicines for her liver and have started to wean them. They do biweekly labs, checking liver enzymes and clotting factors, along with ammonia level. They seem to all be stable, even with backing off on the liver meds. So, that is good. 

Feeds: We finally ran out of breast milk. The dietician wanted to try her on progestimil which was better for her liver. However, her tummy did not like the change. She spit up over and over again yesterday. So, they went back to using neocate. This formula has been tried and true with Molly so I feel good about using it. So far, so good.

MRI: Molly got her head MRI this past week. It is something that they wanted to do before discharge. You may or may not remember that Molly had a grade 1 (very small) brain bleed (IVH). It resolved on its own in Molly's early days. So, there was some concern about the brain damage this could have caused, along with her 3.5 month fentanyl dependency. We got good results from the MRI, thank the Good Lord. They said they saw what they expected to see in a premature baby who has been hospitalized since birth for 6 months. Nothing major and completely expected. Some of her brain is a little slower to develop. She is going to need a lot of therapy (speech, physical, and occupational) when we get home. This was totally expected though. 

Trach: Molly is slated to get her tracheostomy next Thursday, April 10. No set time yet. Once she gets her trach, we will be making our way out of Children's PICU. She should be sedated for the first several days after surgery. At 5-7 days after surgery, the surgeon will do the first trach change. One of two things will happen then. Ideally, she would then move out of the ICU and onto the pulmonary floor. But, apparently that floor is always full and you have to wait awhile for a bed. So, if she can't get to that floor, she will stay in the ICU. They will start to teach Tim and myself how to care for the trach and g-tube. She will be transitioned to a home ventilator and we will learn how to use it. During this time we will be waiting for a bed at Baylor Our Children's House (BOCH). When a bed is ready, she will move there. It's basically a place where we will stay with Molly, become comfortable with all of her care and doing it ourselves, then make our way home. From our understanding, our length of stay at BOCH will be up to us. By this I mean how quickly we want to learn what we need to learn. Of course we want to learn as fast as we can, while still being completely comfortable being Molly's caretakers. So, all that being said, I see us making our move home in 6 weeks to 8 weeks. 

Vent: Molly continues to have good blood gases (this morning's was pH of 7.40, co2 of 49). The vent pressure is now 16. I believe they weaned the PEEP from 6 to 5. All of these things are very good!

Misc: Ma (my mom) and Nicole came to visit Molly on separate occasions. It had been since Christmas since Nicole had seen her. At least a month, probably more, since Ma had seen her. We have been trying to get Molly into a bouncy seat at least once a day. She seems to like it okay. Both Tim and I have been able to hold her as well. And, she got to wear a dress for the first time ever. It wasn't an easy thing to get on her, but the nurse made it happen! And, she looked oh so cute. I must buy more dresses!

Now, some pictures from the week, including poses with Ma and Auntie Nicole!